Babies and toddlers. There is seriously nothing like this time! Watching my girls grow and learn so rapidly is something I am crazy about. It feels like every day there is a new skill or concept or piece of clothing they’ve outgrown. It’s the best. But, with the baby and toddler stage everything you knew about your life pre-baby changes.
I love hearing couples who are expecting say “Oh, I don’t think our life will change that much after the baby!” I don’t tell them they’re wrong, but just silently giggle to myself. If you think you’re going to bring a helpless human being into the world who is completely dependent upon you to stay alive and your life isn’t going to change, who am I to try to convince you that you’re wrong. Your baby will do that in just a few short months
.When we were pregnant with our first baby, we planned on our lives changing. We worked things out so that I would be able to stay at home and not go back to work. That was the best choice for us, and something I would do 100000 times over if I got to. We decorated the nursery, bought the stroller, carseat and bassinet and got ready for the bumpy ride.
Things absolutely changed the second we became parents, but there is one thing that keeps everybody happy.
We do not over schedule our days (or weeks, or months or years). Here’s my rule. One “thing” a day.
If we have a play date park in the morning, we’re staying at home the rest of the day. On Sunday’s we have church in the morning and we’re at home for the remainder of the afternoon. Meeting up with some family for dinner, then we absolutely aren’t going anywhere in the morning.
Check out our structured daily routine with 2 toddlers here!
I always schedule everything around nap time (1 pm), so we have either a morning activity (9-11am) or an evening activity that includes dinner (4-6pm). That’s it. I don’t sacrifice nap time or bedtime. In fact, there has only been 1 occasion in the past year that we have been out past our 7pm bedtime, and we all paid for it for the following week!
What To Do If No One Understands
Sometimes you may get pushback from well-meaning friends or family. I’ll always remember when I was a new mama and keeping my baby on a schedule. It was nap time and I politely told the person we were spending some time with that we needed to go because the baby needed to eat and nap. They proceeded to tell me to “go over to the back room and take care of it”.
That was really the turning point for me. I knew that I was going to have to be the one to protect my children’s needs and set clear boundaries with other people.
If someone doesn’t understand why you can’t just wag your children around like rag dolls without respecting their needs for sleep and routine here are some things that you can say:
- “We have a routine that works best for me and my kids. We can’t come to (insert event here) because we already have something scheduled that day.”
- “I have found that just doing one activity a day is what works best for me and the kids. Sorry that we won’t be able to make it.”
- “No thanks”
- “That falls during (nap time/bedtime) so we won’t be able to make it!”
- “Thanks for the invitation, but we can’t make it this time!”
I have absolutely loved every minute of being a mama to my girls, and I cherish the simple days we have together at home. Kids need routine, structure and ample downtime in order to thrive and grow. If they have a highly stimulating morning at the library, I always make sure to give them time to process and unwind at home that afternoon.
It’s not just important for my kids to follow a schedule, it’s imperative for me.
Will my kids be puddles of emotion if we just skip nap time or stay out too late or overstimulate them all day long? Yes. But guess who else will be on the edge of mania too? Me!
Guess what. That is ok! Being a mama of babies and toddlers is NO joke. We are on call literally 24/7. There is no real downtime except for the few sweet hours of sleep you get every night (assuming that you don’t have a baby who is still waking to eat!).
If going to the park and going to church and eating dinner with your in-laws feels like too much for you, that is OK! It probably is, and everyone in your family (including your kids) will be better off if you take a couple of things off of the list.
Don’t over schedule your family.
Create some room for down time (trust me, your kids will thank you!). Try just doing one activity or outing a day and see how things go. You may be able to handle more or less than I can, but you have to start somewhere to see!
Good luck!
The post How to Stay Happy When You Have Babies and Toddlers first appeared on The Cypress Table.
The post How to Stay Happy When You Have Babies and Toddlers appeared first on The Cypress Table.